


Sleep & Trust

by concretewasps (defenestratedplane)



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Angst, M/M, and so are feelings, sleep is hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 19:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4071853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defenestratedplane/pseuds/concretewasps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jay and Tim spend a night in a hotel after the events of Entry 62. Things aren't easy for them at night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> Written after 62 but before 63.

Sitting in another hotel room, Jay felt like he could fall asleep right on the spot. The events of the past several weeks wore heavily on him.

_'Several weeks.’_  Jay couldn’t believe that he and Tim had been gone that long. It had only taken about a day to find their way out of Rosswood and to Jay’s car, and just an hour to find a hotel. They couldn’t have been knocked out in the woods the whole time, could they? Jay suspected they were suffering yet more memory loss. But the tape didn’t show anything between the hooded man picking up the camera and Jay waking up in the shack, and though the camera could have easily been off for the missing time, it still troubled him.

Tim’s behavior bothered him, too. He barely said a word while they tried to get out of the park, and once they were in Jay’s car he stopped talking entirely and stared impassively out the window the entire ride to the hotel. He still said nothing when Jay booked adjoining rooms, and when they got to their doors Tim announced that he was going to bed and went inside before Jay could respond.

He was worried that Tim was going to have another episode, and didn’t know what he was going to do if it happened.

Jay walked to the door separating their rooms and listened; he didn’t hear anything, and so assumed that Tim really did go to sleep. Deciding that there was nothing else he could do for now, he got into bed and tried to sleep himself.

~

Jay woke up with a start. He looked at the clock;  _'4 AM. What woke me up?’_  He was instantly on edge, hoping that someone (or something) hadn’t found them. He was fumbling at his nightstand for the lamp when he heard a noise from Tim’s room. Finally getting hold of the switch, he turned on the light and ran over to the door between their rooms and knocked.

“Tim!” No response. “Tim, are you okay?”

That’s when he heard the soft sobs filtering through from the other room.

Jay wasn’t really sure what he should do, but he didn’t want to leave the other man alone in his anguish. Especially not when he knew what had happened the last time Tim had broken down. He opened his door, and then tried Tim’s; it was unlocked.

“Tim… I’m going to come in, okay?” There was no response, but Jay wasn’t expecting one. He opened the door and walked in to the other room.

Tim was sitting on the floor against his bed, sobbing into his hands. He didn’t acknowledge Jay’s presence at all; Jay wondered if he even knew he was there. Jay sat on his knees beside him.

“Tim…”

“Why is this happening to me?”

Startled by Tim speaking, Jay couldn’t think of a response.

Tim moved his hands to his sides and looked at Jay. “I’ve never been okay. Never. I used to think that I could get better. But everything always gets worse. Why? Why can’t I just be okay?”

“Tim, I…” Jay tried to think of something comforting to say. “I don’t know why this is happening to you. But I’ll do everything I can to help. I promise.”

Suddenly Tim launched himself at Jay, causing him to fall backwards into the wall. Jay was terrified for a second that Tim was trying to hurt him, but instead he clung to Jay’s sides and began sobbing into his chest. Unsure of what he should do, he tentatively put his arms around Tim.

“ _I’m sorry_.”

This declaration surprised Jay. He looked down at the man in his arms before asking, “Why?”

“I… I remembered what happened. In the woods. You were trying to help me… and I hurt you…”

“…I don’t know what happens when you’re… like that. But that wasn’t you. I know you were pretty angry at me,”  _'probably still are,’_  “but I know you wouldn’t just… attack me if there wasn’t something else going on.” He paused before adding, “I probably deserved it, anyway.”

Tim’s head shot up and he stared at Jay with wide eyes. “No, no, don’t say that, you just wanted to help, I should have woken up, and I’m so, so  _sorry_ …” He tightened his hold on Jay and again cried into his chest.

Jay was at a loss for words.  _'I should be the one apologizing…’_  “It’s… it’s okay. I’m fine. We’re both fine. We’ll get through this, okay?”

Tim didn’t respond. Jay continued to hold him as he sobbed into his chest, until the sobs slowly subsided. Tim kept his hold on Jay but moved back a bit. Jay could see that although his eyes were red-rimmed, he was no longer crying, and that was progress. “Do you feel any better?” Tim nodded. “Okay. That’s good. Do you want to try going to sleep…?” He nodded again. “Okay, come on…” Jay helped them both to their feet, and then guided Tim back to his bed. He was about to leave but Tim wouldn’t let go of his arm.

“Stay?”

“Tim…”

“Jay. Please.” He heard the pleading tone in Tim’s voice, and saw the broken expression on his face, and could not say no.

“…okay.”

He maneuvered them both on to the bed, Tim curled against his chest. Jay sighed and wrapped his arms around Tim again.  _'If he feels safe, then this is fine.’_

Jay fell asleep within minutes.

~

When Jay woke up, he found that he had turned over in his sleep, and his back was now pressed up against Tim’s chest, and Tim’s arms wrapped around him. He tried to get up but Tim’s kept his arms in place.

“Uh, Tim…”

“It’s too early. We can talk later.”

“Shouldn’t I go back to my room…?” He felt Tim’s arms tighten around him in response.

“Shut up and go back to sleep.”


	2. Trust

When Jay woke up again, he was turned back to his original position facing Tim, with their arms wrapped around each other. Tim was already awake and was staring at Jay intently. Jay gently pushed himself away, and this time Tim didn’t stop him.

“So,” Jay sat up and looked around the room. “Uh, what time is it?”

“A little after ten.”

He looked over at Tim, who was still laying down. “Do you wanna talk about last night…?”

Tim sighed. “Not really. But I guess I have to.” He sat up and looked at the wall. “I dreamt about that night in the woods. When you came to find me.” He paused and took a deep breath. “I’ve never remembered before. I know that he’s… that I’m violent, when I’m like that. And I’ve watched all the videos, I know I’ve attacked you before, but never… like that…” He turned to look at Jay. “Jay, if I was so out of it that I was willing to try to kill you in the middle of the woods, I’m not getting any better.”

Jay stared. “But… I thought your medication helped you…?”

“I think it just keeps that part of me from coming out, because clearly he’s still there.”

Jay wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

“…I’m surprised you’re actually talking about this.”

“Yeah, well, I am too.”

Jay looked at down at his hands. “I never apologized for lying to you about Marble Hornets.”

“Don’t.”

“But you were right, this is my fault. If I hadn’t…”

“If you hadn’t shown up, I’d have no idea what was happening to me, and when it started again I’d have been…” Tim trailed off, but Jay could finish the sentence;  _alone_.

“Tim, if… if you would help me, I promise to do everything I can to help you. Even if you can’t help me. Just let me try.”

Tim looked at Jay and frowned. “You shouldn’t trust me.”

“I want to.” Jay turned to fully face Tim. “Why didn’t you let me go back to my room?”

“I don’t… really want to talk about that.”

“…if that’s what you want. But you can trust me, okay? I want to help you if you’ll let me.” Tim stared at Jay for a few moments before turning towards him and touching the base of Jay’s neck. “Tim…?” He hesitated for a few seconds before leaning in and kissing Jay.

Jay’s eyes widened in shock, his hands scrambling to grab at Tim’s shirt, though he wasn’t sure if he wanted to push the man away; he’d never thought about kissing Tim, but being this close to him didn’t feel wrong. After several long seconds without a response, Tim pulled back and ask, “Is this okay?”

“Y-yes, but-” That was all the answer Tim needed before moving in for another kiss, and he brought his other hand up to cup Jay’s face. Slowly, Jay closed his eyes and returned the kiss, and basked in the sensations Tim was causing in him. He groaned and tightened his grip of Tim’s shirt, pulling him forward until he fell backwards onto the bed, with Tim on top of him. He was running a hand through Tim’s hair when felt wetness on his face, causing him to open his eyes and break the kiss. “Tim? Are you okay?”

Tim had begun to softly cry, burying his face in Jay’s neck, though it was a far cry from the broken sobs that had initially prompted Jay into the room. He moved his arms to cling to Jay’s sides before whispering, “I’m sorry.”

Jay rolled them onto their sides and pushed Tim back a bit to get a better look at him. “What’s wrong?”

“…I didn’t let you go because I was afraid you wouldn’t come back.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because nobody stays when they know how fucked up I am.”

“I’m not going to leave you.” He reached up to hold Tim’s face. “I think… I think we need each other. I’m  _not_  going to leave you. Okay?”

“I could lose control again, I could hurt you…”

“I don’t care.” He leaned forward and gave Tim a quick kiss. “Let me try to help you.”

Tim sighed and pulled in Jay to wrap his arms around him. “I’m feeling pretty tired again.” Jay returned the embrace and smiled into Tim’s chest.

“Then shut up and go back to sleep.”


End file.
